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April 1, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. Mike Rogers, chairman of the U.S. House of Representative’s Intelligence Committee, said on Friday he will leave Congress at year’s end to host a radio talk show. Keep in mind the man making the...

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April 9, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. In the upcoming edition of the famous “Archie” comic book protagonist Archie Andrews dies. Apparently, Betty finally caught him in bed with Veronica. 2. According to a new study, the more milk women...

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May 5, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. Last week, NAACP Los Angeles chapter president Leon Jenkins resigned after the group came under fire for its plans to present a lifetime achievement award to Donald Sterling. Which ironically,...

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July 8, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. Self-service beer stations are up and running at Minnesota’s Target Field ahead of next week’s MLB All-Star Game. The self-service machines are called DraftServ, or, as they will come to be known...

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December 24, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. Comedian Adam Sandler topped Forbes’ list of Hollywood’s most overpaid actors for the second consecutive year. Luckily there’s still a lot of room on his trophy case for the award. 2. According to...

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March 24, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Yesterday, Todd Jones, the director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives announced that he will be stepping down on March 31 to take a job with the NFL. Said Jones, “I was...

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April 9, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. According to a report, the top 15 Republican presidential candidates combined own over 40 guns. Although, in reality that number is a little lower because Paul Ryan insisted on including his biceps...

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April 10, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. According to reports, Hillary Clinton is expected to launch her 2016 presidential campaign sometime in the next two weeks. Said Bill, “Keggar. My place. Sometime in the next two weeks.” 2. The...

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June 3, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. AOL launched a new homepage yesterday. So expect a panicked call from your parents. “My email’s missing!!!!” 2. Sepp Blatter stunned the world of soccer yesterday by unexpectedly resigning as FIFA...

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June 4, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Four people who cheered, allegedly excessively, for loved ones at a high school graduation ceremony in Senatobia, Mississippi were arrested and fined for disturbing the peace. But, in their defense,...

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June 19, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Wednesday, U.S. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew said a woman will be featured on a redesigned $10 bill by 2020. Which means, theres’s a chance, for the first time in over 20 years, Hillary may be on...

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June 29, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. In celebration of the Supreme Court’s historic same-sex marriage decision, ice cream maker Ben & Jerry’s has introduced a new flavor entitled “I Dough, I Dough.” Because, now that you’re...

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June 30, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Yesterday, NBC cut ties with Donald Trump and his Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants in the wake of the billionaire’s controversial comments about Mexicans. Which is bad news for Trump and even...

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July 23, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. According to a new study, the average donation to Democrat Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign is $145. Of which, on average, $100 is immediately donated to the presidential campaign of Donald...

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September 24, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. A 78-year-old shopper at a California Costco said he was punched in the face by another customer after complaining the man was taking too many Nutella waffle samples. Luckily, the injured man got a...

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September 29, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. The start of Sunday’s NFL game between the St. Louis Rams and the Pittsburgh Steelers was delayed a half-hour after the pyrotechnics used during pre-game introductions resulted in a fire on the...

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October 28, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Monday, a dog named Trigger shot his owner in the foot. Even more impressive, it was a drive-by. 2. In an interview on Tuesday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said he doesn’t...

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October 30, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. A prominent German ISIS propagandist, who went by the name “Deso Dogg” in the Berlin rap scene, was killed by a U.S. strike in Syria earlier this month. So watch your back, Macklemore. 2. Yesterday...

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December 1, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. The skull of the black bear that inspired the children’s books “Winnie-the-Pooh” has gone on display for the first time ever at the London Zoo. So, if you’re children love Winnie-the-Pooh and you...

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January 13, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Monday night, the Alabama Crimson Tide won its fourth college football championship in the past seven years. Said Alabama fans, “Who won the other five years?” 2. In an interview yesterday,...

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