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November 11, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, President Obama welcomed LeBron James and Donald Trump to the White House. The handshakes were very different: 2. Yesterday, President Obama welcomed LeBron James and Donald Trump to the...
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December 5, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Merriam-Webster dictionary said, as of right now, the word of the year for 2016, which is based on number of lookups, is ‘fascism.’ Presumably because ‘WHATTHEFUCKISGOINGON!?!’ isn’t a real word. 2....
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December 8, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Time Magazine named Donald Trump its ‘Person of the Year.’ But I wouldn’t worry about it, in the words of a very wise man, no one reads Time Magazine anymore: 2. This week, Pope Francis...
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April 27, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Simon, a 3-foot long Welsh rabbit, was found dead in the cargo hold of a United plane after a flight from London landed in Chicago on Tuesday. United apologized for the death of Simon, or, as he was...
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June 6, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. A giant scaffold bearing the image of British Prime Minister Theresa May appeared on the cliffs of Dover on Monday, complete with a Union Flag skirt and a rude hand gesture indicating to the rest of...
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September 1, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. This week, former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer finally met Pope Francis after being left out during President Trump’s visit to the Vatican earlier this year. Spicer and the Pope bonded...
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June 22, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week, Attorney General Jeff Sessions cited a Bible verse to justify his policy of separating immigrant families. I have an idea, let’s tell Sessions that Church and State are from Mexico and...
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April 8, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new report, volunteers cleaning up trash from a New Jersey beach picked up 565 condoms last year. That’s crazy, how can you figure out what’s trash and what’s just a part of New...
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May 6, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, there was a spike in herpes diagnosis following the recent Coachella music festival in California. So I’m guessing John Mayer headlined Coachella this year. 2. Tiger Woods will...
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January 20, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Madame Tussauds waxwork museum in London announced last week that it had removed figures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from their royal exhibit. The last time a room full of royals cleared out...
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